She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize