Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
