And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
