dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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