3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
