Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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