Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I need moral support for this bender
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
