I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
