Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
