I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
