return my video game
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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