Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
