Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
