i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
