My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
