My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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