so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize