well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
