Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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