Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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