I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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