So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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