god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
