***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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