Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
All the doctor said was why
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
