You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize