How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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