her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
