just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
