First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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