Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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