Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
