three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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