like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
