I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
