Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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