it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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