You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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