I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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