I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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