When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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