Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
