I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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