i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
