Pants 0. Shit 1.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Two words: nipple clamps
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