its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You can't just leave with hair like that
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize