Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Im part way to drunk.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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