Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
