You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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