Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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