hotel room ftw
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
