how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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