Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
