have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
