i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
