my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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