I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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