I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
