It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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