dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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