im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Found your dick twin last night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
