I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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