My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
