dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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